Al-Fatihah Mak

Sometimes you meet extra-ordinary individuals, under the guise of the ordinary life. And I must say, my late mother-in-law is just one of those individuals.

Quiet and unassuming, she always kept to herself and never imposed on anyone. Many would underestimate her strength and character but after listening to many of her stories on her childhood, I knew that she did not have an easy life.

She was orphaned when she was small (both parents passed away when she was still a child), and had never undergone proper schooling and education; even then she never blamed her childhood or circumstances for everything that she went through. Indeed, she fought hard for what she wants; when she was a teen she decided to study Quran recitation properly with a religious teacher and because of that, she had to take a boat to cross the Sarawak river and then walk a couple of miles so that she'd be able to reach the place where the teacher staying. Suffice to say she completed her studies and continued to teach others within her community.

I did not spend much time with her unfortunately, simply because I was too busy with life and the many things that were put upon my shoulders. But within the few years that I knew her, she has been extremely kind to me, and just as loving to Alexa. In our last conversation over the phone, I was leaving for Kuala Lumpur then, just 5 days after Aidilfitri because I had an exam to attend to and she was crying because she didn't get the chance to cook for me. I guess maybe she knew her time was coming to an end. She was hospitalised just over a week later and succumbed to her illness on the 18th of August 2015. She passed away just a little over a year after my late father-in-law.

Alexa with my sister-in-law, late mother-in-law, and brother-in-law just two months before she passed away.

I could only hope that I would be able to be the kind of mother that she was, strong, patient and pious. She never had a bad word to say about anyone. Even when others treated her badly (there were many incidences in the past), she would forgive them and leave the matters to Allah. May Allah place her in the highest level of Jannah and protect her from the trials of the grave. Ameen.

Al Fatihah Mak, Hajah Dayang Aieshah Awang Hamid, 1946 - 2015.


xoxo Mrs Fashionista

Al-Fatihah Ayah

In loving memory of:

Raden Alwie bin Raden Yusop

10 May 1944 - 10 April 2014. 

10 Jamadilakhir 1435H.

Having planned our trip to Tokyo (the trip was planned to coincide with hubs birthday on the 12th of April) for many months,  we've decided to pack Alexa's bag first, considering she'll need more stuff than we do and also to ensure that if we've forgotten anything, packing the bag would definitely help us to remember what else we need for her. So, we've packed her bag on Tuesday night and set Wednesday night for us to get some of the stuff that she needs (i.e. socks, toiletries set, extra wet wipes etc). 

We decided it would be easier for Alexa's stuff to be in one bag so that if we need anything for her, we'd can look for it here.

A friend of ours, Nur Syarfeeza mentioned that Tokyo would be slightly chilly (according to the weather app in my iPhone the temperature in Tokyo is somewhere between 8 - 14 degrees celcius) and reminded us to pack warm clothes, so we prepared her travelling outfit with the weather in mind. Having been to London during spring a few years ago reminded us not to underestimate the cool weather so we prepared an extra jacket for her. 

On Thursday morning, 10th of April, at almost 6 am, we received a phone call from hub's sister, and the sound of her voice is one that I will never forget. The painful anguish of a daughter calling to inform her elder brother that their father have passed away. Indeed the whole world came crashing down on us at this one single moment, we cannot believe that someone who is as active as he is, had suddenly left us, leaving us to go back into the arms of our creator.

Shaken with shock, we quickly got into action and went to hub's family residence to help out with the funeral arrangements.

We are definitely thankful for the help from the committee of Surau Kampung Surabaya Hilir, getting ready to clean and cloth the deceased's body for the last time.

Yassin recitation for the deceased. 

Solat jenazah. 

His final resting place at Tanah Perkuburan Islam, Samariang.

In Islam, we believe that everything we have are borrowed from Allah. We do not own anything, we borrow them from Allah and Allah is the rightful owner, our body, our life, our family, our wealth, our health, all are given by Allah and should Allah wills it, all can be taken away in the blink of an eye. That is why we are accountable to all that have been given to us, we are accountable as to how we behave to others, we are accountable to our body (ensuring our health), we are accountable for our wealth and how it has been spent, we are accountable to the relationships that we have with others, in short, we are accountable for every single thing that we say or do. 

In the same manner, as we are living on borrowed time, Ayah's (this is what we call him) time with us is up. No matter how sad I am at his passing, knowing that we have lost him, knowing that Alexa will never get to know her Atok (as he calls himself), knowing that the future now will be different, how he has left such a huge gap in our lives... In a way I am glad and thankful. I am thankful to Allah for giving me the opportunity to get to know this amazing man, this person who has taken me into his life as his daughter-in-law, this quiet person who has been such an amazing father to my husband, who has taught him the values and principles that has made him what he is today, this simple man who adores that simple things in life and is eternally grateful for the little blessings that he has been granted with. I am eternally grateful to Allah for the time that has been granted to us in having him in our lives.  

Hubs and his parents and siblings during Eid 2012.

The grandfather, Raden Alwie bin Raden Yusop and his granddaughter, Raden Alexa Iqlima binti Raden Chekra Muda in January 2014, a few months after his operation, removing tumor from his brain.

Al Fatihah to my father-in-law Raden Alwie bin Raden Yusop. May Allah grant you Jannah and when the time comes, we will join you in the afterlife.

xoxo Mrs Fashionista

What is in a maid

Having grown up with a maid throughout all of my life, I find that a maid is a cook, cleaner, helper, problem solver, lending ear, and much more all in one. Having a maid is much more than getting someone to clean and cook for the family; it's like having an additional member of the family; an older sister who's willing to lend an ear to your problems, a mother to comfort all your worries, a grandma filled with all sorts of traditional remedies; it's like knowing that there's always someone waiting at home for you when you come home.

The maid that stayed longest with us was Kak Gedu. She was with us for ten years, having literally watch me grow up from my high school years, then all through my university days up until my first few years of working. She taught me so many things about life and shared her life stories, so much so that I felt as if I know her all my life. Unfortunately she left right after being with us for ten years. I don't blame her though, we are not an easy brood to take care of.

She passed away in Indonesia just yesterday. I wish that I could just drive up to her home and visit her family but unfortunately I have to leave for Shah Alam tomorrow. I felt a deep sadness and grief for her passing and I know that Allah loves her more.

A maid is so much more than just a cleaner and a cook. They're family too =)

Al-Fatihah.

xoxo Fashionista in Action xoxo

Midnight waking hours

I can't sleep. I feel like I might have been affected more than I'd like to admit by Jimmy's death. To that I've tried to escape in my work, by watching movies, by doing all I can not to think about it.

But the fact is, I still do think about it. Think about the fact how such a young, energetic, bubbly, funny guy is finally gone. No, I am not close to Jimmy. My fiance is. And through his stories of their younger days, I feel like I know him, only too well. It's no wonder that, in my fiance's loss, it became my loss too.

Best buddies they are. This photo was taken in 2001 during their university days =p

Last night I woke up at 2.30 am. Immediately when I woke up, my thoughts drifted to Jimmy. I hope he's well, wherever he is. My mum says that the departed is able to observe us within seven days of his death. I wonder what Jimmy thinks when he's looking at us? I wonder if he's in pain or is he in a better place? There are so many things that I wonder of, and so many questions, all left unanswered. Of course I say my prayers to him. I hope that the little prayers that I send is able to help him in any small way. But then again, I continue to wonder, does my prayer even help?

And so last night, I cried. It's not easy to admit and I am certainly no crybaby. But I cried over the lost of a life, a friend and over the fact that his daughter will never know her father, his mother will never get to see him again, his father will never get to hear his voice, his brother will never joke with him again, his friends (who misses him so terribly) will never get the chance to pick up the phone and catch up with him again.

How fleeting life is. How small and insignificant we are. One life lost and the world didn't even know it. And the same thing occurs for everybody. Ain't that sad?

Innalillah. Allah loves him more. Of that I am sure.

Rest in Peace

It is only when you receive news of a friend's passing that you began to question your own mortality. You can't live forever, you know. Even Superman gets old. So why should we be any different?

Last night, the weather was absolutely horrible. It was literally raining cats and dogs. Visibility: extremely poor. I was driving to a cafe somewhat 10 minutes away from my house and I couldn't see the roads properly. Even the car in front of me looked like all gooey and gray (the effect of extreme downpour on unclean windshield mirrors, an extremely in-your-face warning for those who dare to brave the roads in Kuching). Even then, a fleeting thought crossed my mind, this is the perfect weather for road accidents. Thus cautioning me to drive more slowly and carefully on the roads.

Later that night, I was calling my fiance on the way home and to my surprise, he was actually getting ready to go the hospital. A friend called in to say that his bestfriend had been killed in a road accident, just a couple of hours before. The fleeting thought came back to my mind, the thought that this night, the heavy downpour, was the perfect condition for road accidents. Little did I know that even then, my thought really did materialize into something true. Our mutual friend, killed in a road accident. The car that he was driving skidded then swerved to hit a lorry which was parked by the roadside. It costed him his life, but luckily his two-year-old daughter (who was in the passenger seat) survived. I really could not imagine the whole situation. I was in shock. My fiance, well, he was in a state of disbelieve, shock, and incredibly sad at the thought that his best friend, whom he has known since he was 13, is gone forever.

I guess that is the will of God and Allah loves him more. We wish that you are in a better place, and don't forget to wait for us in front of the gates of heaven. For those of you who know him, please send words of prayer to our friend, Jimmy Rakesh. Al-Fatihah.