Dealing with a Serial Liar

Very recently I had the opportunity to file a tribunal claim against a company in Kuching. I am not going to go into the details of the case, but instead I would like to highlight a particular experience, which is dealing with a serial liar.

So after being lied to for the umpteenth time, we (both me and hubs) have come to the conclusion that this person is trying very, very hard to create an illusion that he has the right not to repay our money. Obviously there is no intention nor effort at all on his part to refund our money. We came to realise this two days ago when this person tried to fake a bank transaction with the intention to trick us into thinking that he has transferred to us money from his bank account.

We had requested for the company to fabricate a grill similar to this design. Inspiration photo taken from Bob Mubarak's instagram.

An image given to us via WhatsApp saying that the grill we ordered is almost complete. This image was only sent to us after we had requested for a refund. Not only the design is wrong, the material and colour is also very, very different. Until today there is no delivery for the item that we requested.

As a person who tries to learn and take heed from life's experiences, I told myself that I should at least benefit from this situation by taking heed. So this is what I learnt.

First, you will feel mad.

I think in our case, we were initially frustrated when we realised that we would not be getting the grill on time, which also meant that we had to delay buying household items and are unable to move into our new home. Then we got angry because without fail he would say that he would refund our money that very week and then make the same promise the following week. I have realised now (after 5 months of repeating the same promises) that this particular individual loves the attention that he is getting and maybe he feels important that his words/ promises are taken seriously by others.

Secondly, you might feel like taking action i.e. you should do something about this situation that you are in.

This I totally agree. After all, you would be disappointed in yourself if you do nothing. Therefore we decided to think of our options.

Option 1 - File a claim at the tribunal. Which we did. The first hearing was on the 25th of September. Unfortunately the person did not come to the hearing. He told us that he was in Kota Kinabalu for a training with Honda. I don't know how true this statement is because I later found out that he is working with Perodua. Regardless, inshaa Allah the next hearing is set for next month.

Option 2 - File a police report. Which we also did. We decided to file a police report against him in relation to his fake bank transaction. The police report can be used to request for his bank statement as proof that he did not make any funds transfer to me. The report will also be used as part of the evidence for our second tribunal court hearing.

Option 3 - Write a review on google about the company. Most companies are searchable and listed on google map. You see, before we employed the services of this company, as my usual practice, I would check on google to see if there were any bad reviews on the company. I found not a single information on the company other than it's address and location. No good or bad review. So today I made a review. For future customers, if they were to google this company, at the very least, my review would be there to inform them of my experience and they could make an informed buying decision.

Option 4 - Have faith and put your trust in Allah. I believe that our rizq has been determined by Allah and if these funds are meant to come back to me, it will. If not, then it will not. I am not any poorer if this person adamantly refuse to refund my money nor is he any richer by holding on to it with dear life.

What have I benefitted from this experience?

I found that I am able to manage my emotions and allow myself to think rationally on what to do and what not to do. Admittedly at times, I do feel huge waves of anger coming over me and trying to take over my emotions. Ever since Tuesday, this person has been calling me (which I did not pick up), dishing out the same empty promises and even saying that I am lying and creating stories/ fitnah over him on this matter. Being angry means that this person is able to exert their influence over your emotions, so I told myself, I could choose to be angry on the matter or I could choose not to be affected emotionally. Obviously, I chose the later. Whenever I felt a wave of anger coming in (obviously this happens after receiving this person's messages over WhatsApp), I decided to do zikr and ask Allah to forgive me instead. Might as well cool my emotions and gain reward from Allah at the same time.

I have also discovered that both me and hubs regard finding peace in our hearts to be of greater importance. I have since blocked this person's number - empty words and promises are not worth our time. We have followed the legal channels so let the future take its course in this manner.

A hadith referenced in the book Al Adab al Mufrad states that, 'Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "You must be truthful. Truthfulness leads to dutifulness and dutifulness leads to the Garden. A man continues to tell the truth until he is written as a siddiq with Allah. Beware of lying. Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire. A man continues to lie until he is written as a liar with Allah."

At the end of the day, I have also discovered what a cursed habit lying is and what an unfortunate life a liar has. A habit and a life which I do not want. May Allah protect us from the desire to lie and keep our hearts on the straight path. Ameen.

Updated: The individual has refunded our money on the same day that this blogpost is published. We have dropped our claim against him under the tribunal court as this matter is now considered as settled. 


xoxo Mrs Fashionista

Mystery of the Stolen Floor Mat Revealed

I have been living in KL for almost two years now and since then (including today), my floor mat has been stolen 3 or 4 times. It baffles me.

I mean seriously?

A floor mat?

Let me tell you why it baffles me:

First, it's a floor mat. It's what you use to wipe the dirt from underneath your shoes. It's what you use to filter the dirt which you've picked up from walking (from various places) and ensuring that your apartment/ house is not filled with the dirt that you've accidentally picked up from outside the home. Thus it's not exactly in pristine condition.

Secondly, it's only RM3.90. Not the most expensive floor mat either. It's not pretty either. It's the cheapest one available in Ikea. Yup, the black one. Hence, I know that this door mat is no eye candy.

Okay, let me tell you what happened:

My mum was on the phone (we were at home) and I heard a scratching sound near the door. And having had my floor mat stolen a couple of times, I realised that someone is pulling my floor mat from under my apartment door. A couple of inches of the floor mat is peeking from under the door, therefore if somebody were to pass by my apartment, they could definitely be able to identify that yes, I have a floor mat.

Now, this is where it gets to be interesting:

My apartment is at the end of the corridor. The apartment in front of mine is empty (my neighbour had moved out earlier last year) while the apartment next to mine is usually empty during the day (this neighbour is a very sweet young lady from Iran). For someone to purposely steal my floor mat, she (I actually confronted the thief today) would have to walk all the way to the end of the corridor (roughly about 30 metres or so) and come to my apartment (and when I think of it this way, it kinda creeps me out that someone is routinely checking out my floor mat and trying to steal them). And although a few inches of the floor mat is on the outer side of the door, you would need some effort to pull the whole thing out.

So when I realised that my floor mat was missing, I peeked out through the peephole of my door. The corridor was empty. I quickly unlatched my door, opened it and peeked out at the corridor. There was a small middle aged lady (dressed in a smart casual manner) about 5 - 10 metres away from my door, walking quickly towards the lift door. She had just put something (which appeared to be my floor mat) into her shoulder bag. And no, she is not my neighbour.

I called out to her and I said, "Excuse me, did you just take my floor mat?"

She didn't answer. She continued to walk quickly to the lift doors. When she had her fingers on the door, she looked at me.

I said again, "Excuse me, did you just take my floor mat?"

She looked at me, now both hands at the door and said, "No I didn't. I had come from the other side (i.e. the podium) and I was walking this way."

What amused me is that the direction in which she said she was walking is totally opposite from the direction that she took.

So I said, "Really? You did not take my floor mat?"

By this time, as much as the situation seemed pretty eerie to me (I mean this lady is kinda stalking my apartment and stealing my floor mat), I was also amused. Amused by the thought that here you are (the lady I mean) getting busted for stealing a RM3.90 floor mat.

She replied, "No." She then opened the lift doors and walked away.

I could have confronted her and insisted that I check her bag. And I know my floor mat would be in that bag. But I didn't. I mean, it's a RM3.90 floor mat. I could replace it any time I want. There's no use in embarrassing her over a floor mat. Although I did want to tell her that the floor mat is dirty and it's not exactly new. But I think she already knows this.

But the fact of the matter is, I don't think she's a real thief. Maybe what she has is an illness. Maybe she just has a thing over floor mats. But then again, I don't know.

This incident has also taught me a lesson. When my previous floor mats were stolen, I had actually thought that it would be by the cleaners or security guard. No, not because of what you are currently thinking. Simply because of the fact that they are the only ones who would walk to end of the corridor. I mean, would you walk all the way to end of a corridor if you don't have to? You won't right? And I wouldn't either. But this lady was pleasantly dressed, her clothes didn't scream that she was in poverty, and she had nice shoes and a nice handbag to boot (no, not a Louis Vuitton but it wasn't shabby either). From the way she looks and how she speaks, I was able to identify that she's a Malaysian, most probably from a particular race (which I will not mention here because this is not a racial post). And she speaks English as well (which shows she's educated enough to be able to converse in a language that is not her mother tongue). Another thing which surprised me is that she looked as if she's in her mid-forties or maybe early fifties. This incident has taught me that, people may not be what they seem but in spite of what they do, forgive them anyway. Why? Because, if you want Allah to forgive you for your sins, you might as well forgive others for what they have done to you. And if I have done anything that may have hurt you, please forgive me.

May Allah forgive us all. Ameen.


xoxo Mrs Fashionista