Dealing with a Serial Liar

Very recently I had the opportunity to file a tribunal claim against a company in Kuching. I am not going to go into the details of the case, but instead I would like to highlight a particular experience, which is dealing with a serial liar.

So after being lied to for the umpteenth time, we (both me and hubs) have come to the conclusion that this person is trying very, very hard to create an illusion that he has the right not to repay our money. Obviously there is no intention nor effort at all on his part to refund our money. We came to realise this two days ago when this person tried to fake a bank transaction with the intention to trick us into thinking that he has transferred to us money from his bank account.

We had requested for the company to fabricate a grill similar to this design. Inspiration photo taken from Bob Mubarak's instagram.

An image given to us via WhatsApp saying that the grill we ordered is almost complete. This image was only sent to us after we had requested for a refund. Not only the design is wrong, the material and colour is also very, very different. Until today there is no delivery for the item that we requested.

As a person who tries to learn and take heed from life's experiences, I told myself that I should at least benefit from this situation by taking heed. So this is what I learnt.

First, you will feel mad.

I think in our case, we were initially frustrated when we realised that we would not be getting the grill on time, which also meant that we had to delay buying household items and are unable to move into our new home. Then we got angry because without fail he would say that he would refund our money that very week and then make the same promise the following week. I have realised now (after 5 months of repeating the same promises) that this particular individual loves the attention that he is getting and maybe he feels important that his words/ promises are taken seriously by others.

Secondly, you might feel like taking action i.e. you should do something about this situation that you are in.

This I totally agree. After all, you would be disappointed in yourself if you do nothing. Therefore we decided to think of our options.

Option 1 - File a claim at the tribunal. Which we did. The first hearing was on the 25th of September. Unfortunately the person did not come to the hearing. He told us that he was in Kota Kinabalu for a training with Honda. I don't know how true this statement is because I later found out that he is working with Perodua. Regardless, inshaa Allah the next hearing is set for next month.

Option 2 - File a police report. Which we also did. We decided to file a police report against him in relation to his fake bank transaction. The police report can be used to request for his bank statement as proof that he did not make any funds transfer to me. The report will also be used as part of the evidence for our second tribunal court hearing.

Option 3 - Write a review on google about the company. Most companies are searchable and listed on google map. You see, before we employed the services of this company, as my usual practice, I would check on google to see if there were any bad reviews on the company. I found not a single information on the company other than it's address and location. No good or bad review. So today I made a review. For future customers, if they were to google this company, at the very least, my review would be there to inform them of my experience and they could make an informed buying decision.

Option 4 - Have faith and put your trust in Allah. I believe that our rizq has been determined by Allah and if these funds are meant to come back to me, it will. If not, then it will not. I am not any poorer if this person adamantly refuse to refund my money nor is he any richer by holding on to it with dear life.

What have I benefitted from this experience?

I found that I am able to manage my emotions and allow myself to think rationally on what to do and what not to do. Admittedly at times, I do feel huge waves of anger coming over me and trying to take over my emotions. Ever since Tuesday, this person has been calling me (which I did not pick up), dishing out the same empty promises and even saying that I am lying and creating stories/ fitnah over him on this matter. Being angry means that this person is able to exert their influence over your emotions, so I told myself, I could choose to be angry on the matter or I could choose not to be affected emotionally. Obviously, I chose the later. Whenever I felt a wave of anger coming in (obviously this happens after receiving this person's messages over WhatsApp), I decided to do zikr and ask Allah to forgive me instead. Might as well cool my emotions and gain reward from Allah at the same time.

I have also discovered that both me and hubs regard finding peace in our hearts to be of greater importance. I have since blocked this person's number - empty words and promises are not worth our time. We have followed the legal channels so let the future take its course in this manner.

A hadith referenced in the book Al Adab al Mufrad states that, 'Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "You must be truthful. Truthfulness leads to dutifulness and dutifulness leads to the Garden. A man continues to tell the truth until he is written as a siddiq with Allah. Beware of lying. Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire. A man continues to lie until he is written as a liar with Allah."

At the end of the day, I have also discovered what a cursed habit lying is and what an unfortunate life a liar has. A habit and a life which I do not want. May Allah protect us from the desire to lie and keep our hearts on the straight path. Ameen.

Updated: The individual has refunded our money on the same day that this blogpost is published. We have dropped our claim against him under the tribunal court as this matter is now considered as settled. 


xoxo Mrs Fashionista

What would it take for you to renounce your religion?

This post is inspired by the apostasy cases which were heard in the Federal Court today. If you'd like to read about the case, you can read about it [here] and [here].

For some reason, the cases made me wonder: what would it take for us to renounce our religion?

I am somehow reminded by the story of Salman the Persian, a companion of the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. He was born and raised as a Zoroastrian who then converted to Christianity (after meeting a Nestorian Christian group) and afterwards converted to Islam after meeting the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h.

Three different religions in one lifetime.

For Salman, the decision to renounce the religion of his family, Zoroastrian, was of his own making. And it was the same when he decided to again renounce Christianity.

Can we influence someone to convert to another religion?

A number of examples have shown that we cannot. Point in case: Abu Talib, the uncle of the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. died without embracing Islam despite being a strong supporter of the Prophet and even though the Prophet asked him to pronounce the shahadah on his deathbed, he did not do so.

Even in the case of Salman the Persian, he was imprisoned by his family (which he escaped from later) after he converted to Christianity.

Why? Matters regarding faith rests in the heart of man, for we cannot lie to ourselves and bow down (prostrate) to what we do not believe in. We have been given free will, hence we have the freedom to choose and decide in which faith do we want to profess to.

"... And know that Allah intervenes between a man and his heart and that to Him you will be gathered." (Surah Al Anfal 8: 24)

In a hadith the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. mentions, "Verily, the hearts of all the sons of Adam are between the two fingers out of the fingers of the Compassionate Lord as one heart. He turns that to any (direction) He likes." Then the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. said: "O' Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to Thine obedience."

Thus we could say that matters of the faith is a reflection of the heart of man. If your heart turns to another faith, perhaps then, that is what it takes for you to renounce your religion to another.

I pray that we all be guided and may our hearts be kept steadfast on the straight path. Ameen.


xoxo Fareiny

Defining Me

What kind of person would you say you are?

A few days ago I saw a post on my Facebook timeline. It was a video of a socialite, showcasing her collection of designer handbags, shoes and clothes.

Seeing the video, I felt a huge sigh of relief... Because material things such as handbags, shoes and clothes does not define who I am. Perhaps it may have when I was younger (or I perceive it to be a definitive part of me then), but it certainly does not define who I am, now.

Who I was, but no longer am. Alhamdulillah.

So let's revisit my first statement: How do you define the person that you are?

I am going to be turning 40 in a few years and one of the things that I am grateful for is the ability to be comfortable (very comfortable, really) in my own skin, accepting me for who I really am (flaws and all) and not really bothering about what people say/ think/ talk of me. It does not bother me if people do not like me, because really, there's no pleasing everybody and no matter what happens, I will be the same person unless and until I decide to change. Besides, what people say/ think/ talk is actually a reflection of the person that they are so it is always best to let them be.

Back to the question of defining oneself.

Some people define themselves by the career that they have, the kids that Allah has bestowed upon them, the friends that they have around them or even the amount of wealth that they have amassed. I have discovered that as much as I love my career, my family, my friends and money (or the amount of comfort that money brings), I do not want to be defined by those things, for indeed they are fleeting.

Allah give what He wills and Allah can take back what He wills.

So, let's do a stock check, and find out:

(1) How do you feel about yourself?
(2) Are you happy with the person that you are/ becoming?
(3) If yes, Alhamdulillah.
(4) If no, then why aren't you happy with yourself?
(5) Is there anything that you wish to change about yourself?

Social media is a huge influencer in our lives. The purpose of this blogpost (and the main reason why I've decided to reactivate my blog) is simply because of how much social media has taken over our lives and how some people (especially the younger generation) are influenced by the amount of 'likes' and 'comments' that they have on their social media accounts.

One of the defining moments of my life, reaching the top of Mulu Pinnacles. The climb up and down Mulu Pinnacles took me 13 hours (a friend of mine completed the whole climb in about 9 hours). 

You are defined by the things that you do, and what you commit your mind to.

What people think of you and your posts should not be a benchmark of who you are. And besides, life is never about having a '5 seconds of fame' moment or being viral on the internet. It is so much more than that. It's about making a mark on this world and leaving a footprint of who we are - for which we will be judged upon by Allah in the hereafter.

So, define yourself carefully. You are unique. And don't let who you are be defined by someone other than you.

Love and positivity, always.


xoxo Fareiny