Petroleum Nasional Berhad (Petronas) vs the Government of Sarawak

Earlier today, Petronas announced that they have filed an application with the Federal Court seeking to declare that Petronas is the exclusive owner of petroleum resources throughout Malaysia (click here for the media statement from Petronas) based on an Act called the Petroleum Development Act 1974 (click here for a copy of the Act).

In response to the announcement, the Sarawak state government have announced that they are willing to go to court to defend their rights to petroleum resources that are found within the jurisdiction of the state (click here for the response by the Sarawak state).

In the PDA 1974, it is mentioned under Section 2 (1) that "... the exclusive rights, powers, liberties and privileges of exploring, exploiting, winning and obtaining petroleum whether onshore or offshore of Malaysia shall be vested in a Corporation to be incorporated under the Companies Act 1965...".

Based on the Act under Section 3(1), the company is Petroleum Nasional Berhad or Petronas.

Also in the same Act under Section 3(2), "The Corporation shall be subject to the control and direction of the Prime Minister who may from time to time issue such direction as he may deem fit."

Under Section 3(3), the direction issued by the Prime Minister is binding on Petronas.

However, I am not a legal expert so I will not go into legal technicalities in this post.

I have no doubt that the current state government under Barisan Nasional will fight for the right of Sarawak over petroleum resources found within the state's jurisdiction.

However, that is not enough.

The people of Sarawak also have to push their representatives under Pakatan Harapan to also fight for their rights. Under Pakatan Harapan's manifesto (click here for a copy of the manifesto), Promise 41 (page 91) states that "The 1974 Petroleum Development Act will be scrutinised to review Petronas's monopoly on national gas and oil products, especially from Sabah and Sarawak. This is to enable Sabah and Sarawak to set up their own oil and gas companies, and not limiting their role as a contractor to Petronas only."

Based on the recent election results, there are 12  parliament seats (10 from Pakatan + 2 independent who later joined Pakatan) in Sarawak held by Pakatan Harapan representatives (click here for the election results). Therefore, the people of Sarawak should demand Pakatan representatives to fulfil the manifesto as mentioned under Promise 41 which is to ensure the prosperity of the people of Sabah and Sarawak by enhancing the states' economic growth.

The campaign and election period is over.

For Sarawak to be able to protect their rights over petroleum resources found within the state, all leaders (from whichever party they may be) should work towards defending the state's rights.

And because the current Malaysian government is held by Pakatan Harapan, now is the time for the 'wakil rakyat' or representative from Pakatan Harapan to work and uphold the promise made in Pakatan's manifesto.

To the state government held by Barisan Nasional, hire the best legal team to fight for the rights of the state and do not let your people down.

To the people of Sarawak, this is not the time for you to be a spectator (or keyboard warrior). Demand proof that your representative is working in the best interest of the state and their people. And to those with legal expertise, you can also contribute your knowledge and experience by assisting those who are directly involved in the case.

This is Malaysia Baru.

But... Is it really?

Let's prove it really is Malaysia Baru by being informed, well-read and intelligent citizens - proactive Malaysians.


xoxo Fareiny

Ps: Some have mentioned that the Malaysian Agreement 1963 may be relevant to this case. I have not read the agreement (as I said, I am not a legal expert) but you can read the agreement if you like (click here for a copy of MA63).

What would it take for you to renounce your religion?

This post is inspired by the apostasy cases which were heard in the Federal Court today. If you'd like to read about the case, you can read about it [here] and [here].

For some reason, the cases made me wonder: what would it take for us to renounce our religion?

I am somehow reminded by the story of Salman the Persian, a companion of the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. He was born and raised as a Zoroastrian who then converted to Christianity (after meeting a Nestorian Christian group) and afterwards converted to Islam after meeting the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h.

Three different religions in one lifetime.

For Salman, the decision to renounce the religion of his family, Zoroastrian, was of his own making. And it was the same when he decided to again renounce Christianity.

Can we influence someone to convert to another religion?

A number of examples have shown that we cannot. Point in case: Abu Talib, the uncle of the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. died without embracing Islam despite being a strong supporter of the Prophet and even though the Prophet asked him to pronounce the shahadah on his deathbed, he did not do so.

Even in the case of Salman the Persian, he was imprisoned by his family (which he escaped from later) after he converted to Christianity.

Why? Matters regarding faith rests in the heart of man, for we cannot lie to ourselves and bow down (prostrate) to what we do not believe in. We have been given free will, hence we have the freedom to choose and decide in which faith do we want to profess to.

"... And know that Allah intervenes between a man and his heart and that to Him you will be gathered." (Surah Al Anfal 8: 24)

In a hadith the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. mentions, "Verily, the hearts of all the sons of Adam are between the two fingers out of the fingers of the Compassionate Lord as one heart. He turns that to any (direction) He likes." Then the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. said: "O' Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to Thine obedience."

Thus we could say that matters of the faith is a reflection of the heart of man. If your heart turns to another faith, perhaps then, that is what it takes for you to renounce your religion to another.

I pray that we all be guided and may our hearts be kept steadfast on the straight path. Ameen.


xoxo Fareiny

Defining Me

What kind of person would you say you are?

A few days ago I saw a post on my Facebook timeline. It was a video of a socialite, showcasing her collection of designer handbags, shoes and clothes.

Seeing the video, I felt a huge sigh of relief... Because material things such as handbags, shoes and clothes does not define who I am. Perhaps it may have when I was younger (or I perceive it to be a definitive part of me then), but it certainly does not define who I am, now.

Who I was, but no longer am. Alhamdulillah.

So let's revisit my first statement: How do you define the person that you are?

I am going to be turning 40 in a few years and one of the things that I am grateful for is the ability to be comfortable (very comfortable, really) in my own skin, accepting me for who I really am (flaws and all) and not really bothering about what people say/ think/ talk of me. It does not bother me if people do not like me, because really, there's no pleasing everybody and no matter what happens, I will be the same person unless and until I decide to change. Besides, what people say/ think/ talk is actually a reflection of the person that they are so it is always best to let them be.

Back to the question of defining oneself.

Some people define themselves by the career that they have, the kids that Allah has bestowed upon them, the friends that they have around them or even the amount of wealth that they have amassed. I have discovered that as much as I love my career, my family, my friends and money (or the amount of comfort that money brings), I do not want to be defined by those things, for indeed they are fleeting.

Allah give what He wills and Allah can take back what He wills.

So, let's do a stock check, and find out:

(1) How do you feel about yourself?
(2) Are you happy with the person that you are/ becoming?
(3) If yes, Alhamdulillah.
(4) If no, then why aren't you happy with yourself?
(5) Is there anything that you wish to change about yourself?

Social media is a huge influencer in our lives. The purpose of this blogpost (and the main reason why I've decided to reactivate my blog) is simply because of how much social media has taken over our lives and how some people (especially the younger generation) are influenced by the amount of 'likes' and 'comments' that they have on their social media accounts.

One of the defining moments of my life, reaching the top of Mulu Pinnacles. The climb up and down Mulu Pinnacles took me 13 hours (a friend of mine completed the whole climb in about 9 hours). 

You are defined by the things that you do, and what you commit your mind to.

What people think of you and your posts should not be a benchmark of who you are. And besides, life is never about having a '5 seconds of fame' moment or being viral on the internet. It is so much more than that. It's about making a mark on this world and leaving a footprint of who we are - for which we will be judged upon by Allah in the hereafter.

So, define yourself carefully. You are unique. And don't let who you are be defined by someone other than you.

Love and positivity, always.


xoxo Fareiny

New year, new blog and a not-so-new, me!

*cough*cough*

Hello there! 

It's been a year and here I am dusting the cobwebs on my blog, trying to figure out whether I should continue blogging or just continue leaving it as it is and pursue my other non-interests such as wiping snot off Alexa's nose or changing Isabel's diapers now that she's pooped for the third time in the same day (kidding!).

It's challenging being a working mom. Though in good times and bad times, Allah's plans are the best of plans, Alhamdulillah.  May Allah protect them from all that is evil and make them strong like Khadijah a.s. (the wife of our Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h.). Ameen!

Anyway, since I've been away from the blogging space, my thoughts on I should be writing this and that, unfortunately, refuse to leave me, for I do love writing. So here we are, back here, with me thinking of the things that I should write more of and trying to fit blogging into my already packed schedule. 

Ah well, I've made up my mind and hopefully you'll see more of me (my writing at least), in this space. 

Until then, love and positivity always!

xoxo Fareiny

Introducing Raden Isabel Asiya

So I've been busy lately. I haven't been able to update my blog due to me having shifted my priorities and making my PhD my number one priority these days. Any other events, have to take a backseat, unless of course, it involves birth and labor, which, like it or not, have to be the number one priority when the time comes.

Us in Sri Lanka, June 2016.

Anyway, we (me and hubs, obviously) discovered that I was pregnant after we came home from our trip to Sri Lanka in June. Alhamdulillah we've always wanted another child and we are extremely grateful to be granted another opportunity. Fast forward months later, just like my pregnancy with Alexa, the baby is 40 weeks overdue and there is a high chance of me undergoing a caesarian as not only the baby is overdue, but I also have gestational diabetes, which poses a risk to the baby.

Since I was overdue, and although the baby was already engaged, my cervix wasn't dilated as yet. My doctor suggested that I go for a balloon catheter induction which is available at the Sarawak General Hospital (SGH) which would give me a chance to proceed with normal delivery. Otherwise, the alternative would be a caesarian delivery.

Because we were rooting for a normal delivery, we decided to try the balloon induction and my ob-gyn proceeded with a referral letter for SGH. On Thursday, 28th January I packed my stuff and then proceeded to SGH for the induction, and prayed for a normal delivery. Registered at the labor ward (Level 4) at 9 pm and my condition was examined by a doctor a few minutes later. She reported the results of her examination to a senior doctor about an hour later. The senior doctor conducted a vaginal examination and declared that my cervix was 3 cm dilated and that I did not need an induction. She even declared that I would deliver the following morning. Little did I know that she was right in her prediction.

The tiny person who's hijacked my sleep (for now).

At 12 midnight, I was wheeled to Level 5, given a bed and a change of clothes and was informed that if I felt any contraction or feel that I am nearing labor, I could request for a vaginal examination. If (based on the examination) my cervix was dilated to 4 cm, I would be brought to the delivery room at Level 4. By 2 am I was ready for bed; I had performed my prayers and there were some Braxton Hicks, but nothing to be alarmed about. By 4 am, the pain started to get more intense, so I asked the nurse for a vaginal exam. The nurse said that I had already dilated to 5 cm and would be wheeled to the delivery room once they had an available bed. 20 minutes later, I was in the delivery room, strapped with to a fetal monitor and by that time, the contractions were quite intense that I actually had asked the doctor for epidural.

The nurses proceeded to fill in some forms, asked me a couple of questions which (in my dazed state) some I was able to answer while the rest, I mumbled incoherent words. With almost zero sleep, an empty stomach and parched throat, I wasn't exactly on cloud nine. At 6.30 am, the anaesthetist came and proceeded to warn me the risks of an epidural. I insisted that I wanted an epidural. She then told me to sit up (I was lying down all this while), to which I tried to do with much difficulty. I then told her that I can't sit up properly because I felt a strong urge to poop. She told me to lie down and then informed another doctor to perform a vaginal exam to check if my cervix was fully dilated. Surprise, surprise, it was fully dilated to 10 cm and I (apparently) was in labor. Obviously, I did not get the epidural (much to the relief of the anaesthetist).

All of a sudden the delivery room was filled with nurses and they proceeded to cheer me to push when I feel a contraction coming. As a newbie (my first born was delivered via c-section), I wasn't able to push well, and the lack of sleep and lack of food obviously did not help my condition. The baby came out after three or four pushes later at 7.16 am, weighing 3.47 kg. Alhamdulillah, I only suffered a second degree tear and did not require any episiotomy. But I do need some stitches.

Raden Isabel Asiya, three hours after birth. Hubs liked the name Bella so we decided on Isabel which means devoted to God and Asiya is the wife of the Pharaoh and one of those who is promised Jannah (refer to the Quran, 66:11) or you can also read a Facebook post about her (click here).

Hubs came in to the delivery room a few minutes later. He wasn't allowed to come in during the delivery because at 7 am, nurses and doctors would change shifts and while they hand over their tasks to the incoming medical team, no visitors are allowed until the new shift has settled in. Post birth, the nurses proceeded with allowing me to breastfeed Isabel right after the stitches were done.

Our first selfie, Day 1 of Raden Isabel Asiya.

So all praise be to Allah for granting me the VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarian) which I so desperately wanted, granting my wish of a vaginal delivery without episiotomy (which I kept praying for as well) and allowing me to breastfeed Isabel after birth as well.

And for those who are preparing for birth, here are some of the things that I did to prepare myself for birth:

1. Exercise - Towards the 9th month, I'd walk a couple of kilometres (almost) every day to ensure that my body is in optimum condition. Exercising not only helps during birth (we need our muscles to push), but also helps us to recover faster. Other than walking, in the final month, I did squats 100 times a day and also kegel exercises to ensure that my pelvic muscles are strong.

2. Educate myself - I have attended a hypnobirthing class before with Sister Nadine Ghows, and proceeded with a short refresher with Cikgu Chris in December. This really helped me to practice deep breathing (during the initial Braxton Hicks and in between contractions). The visualisation technique from the class also helped and without it, I do think I would be in a different state during birth.

3. Make dua'a - I made a LOT of dua'as during my pregnancy and even the night before delivery. I am a firm believer that Allah will grant you what you ask for (unless it is not the best for you, of course) and Alhamdulillah, I got what I asked for and more.

4. Perineal Massage - Unfortunately I did not do this enough. I only managed to attempt a perineal massage a couple of times before delivery. I personally think that if done consistently, you could avoid (or minimise) the tear in your perineum during delivery.

5. Aromatherapy oils - I am extremely grateful to Cikgu Chris for providing me with aromatherapy oils a couple of weeks before the delivery. I used them everyday and I do think they helped to quicken the labor as well as help me to be in a calmer state of mind during delivery.

6. Proper diet - I read somewhere that pregnant women who eat (at least six) dates everyday have shorter labor than those who didn't. So I included dates in my daily breakfast and although I am not sure how short is a short labour, mine was a little over 3 hours so to me I suppose the dates did help.

And that is my birth story with Raden Isabel Asiya. Those who would like to know more about hypnobirthing, you can check out Nadine's class at Gentle Beginnings (click here) or Cikgu Chris's class at Borneo Bellies, Birth and Babies (click here). Inshaa Allah once I have the time, I'll update my review on giving birth at SGH soon (I hope).


xoxo Mrs Fashionista

To vaccinate or to not vaccinate, that is the question

Last week I brought my lil' bub, Alexa, with me to KL. While walking towards the Arrival Hall in KLIA, we stopped at an ATM kiosk, and (it's weird how a mum's brain tends to notice the strangest thing) nearby, a lady sneezed. I thought to myself, if this lady is carrying any viruses, Alexa could get infected. True enough (although I am not in any way blaming the lady), Alexa developed signs of fever the very next night. Her body temperature rose to 37.4 degrees celsius and we were worried enough to bring her to the doctor the very next morning.
At the doctor's office, we found that she only has a mild fever, and her throat was slightly inflamed (her tonsils were okay). So the doctor prescribed some paracetamol and gave some probiotics for her. We fed Alexa the paracetamol as scheduled (she rejected the probiotics) and gave her as much liquids as she can manage. That night, her temperature soared to above 39 degrees celsius.
The very next day, she started developing a cough. We gave her some honey to help with the cough, but by this time, it was obvious that she was not well. She did not want to speak. All she did all day is sleep (in between bottle feeds) and the only food that we managed to get into her was porridge. We decided to bring her to another doctor the next day. That night, her temperature had also risen to above 39 degrees celsius, she was clearly uncomfortable, she kept tossing and turning (she clearly couldn't sleep) and we tried our level best to make her comfortable.
By this time, it was already day 4 of her fever and day 3 of her cough. We brought her to a specialist this time. The specialist confirmed that she had fever. Body temperature was 39.4 degrees and her tonsils were swollen. The specialist prescribed a new set of meds (along with coughing syrup and antibiotics) and we stopped giving Alexa the previous doctor's medicine. That night, Alexa's temperature had still risen to above 39 degrees celsius (her body temperature seems to increase at night and it stays that way until wee hours of the morning) and because she had to fly back to Kuching with hubs the next day, we decided to hold against giving antibiotics until they were in Kuching (Doc told us to keep the antibiotics in the fridge once it's mixed with water, so we decided we could wait for a day before giving her antibiotics).

Day 5, Alexa still had the fever and cough and by now she had developed a bit of the flu as well. I told hubs that if it continues, perhaps, he could bring Alexa to another doctor the next day. That night, Alexa's body temperature had still risen to above 39 degrees. To be honest, this is the worst fever that Alexa has ever experienced in her whole life.

Day 6, hubs brought Alexa to another doctor (3 doctors in 6 days, I know) and he told Alexa to continue with the meds that the specialist had prescribed. Alexa's body temperature remained at 39 degrees. Alexa was still weak, all she did is sleep and rest all day. At night her body temperature continued to rise and her coughing was getting worst.

Day 7, hubs decided to bring Alexa to the emergency department at Normah Medical Specialist because her condition looked to be quite serious. We had both agreed that if it is necessary, perhaps Alexa is better off being warded in the hospital. The doctor inserted some medicine into her bum to reduce her body temperature and they also used the nebuliser on her. Four doctors in 7 days. Alhamdulillah from this moment onwards her body temperature slowly improved, she was still slightly feverish, but never above 39 degrees celsius.
Day 8, body temperature reduced significantly to 37.4 degrees and she started behaving normally at certain moments during the day. The cough unfortunately was still there.
Day 9, no more signs of fever *hurrah*. Until today (Day 11), it seems she is back to her usual self, body temperature is normal. However, there are still random bouts of coughing but it's not as serious as previously. Inshaa Allah, she will be in tip top condition by Eid.

Now, with the news on Diphtheria in Malaysia (here's a link to the news on Diphtheria), you must be wondering, is Alexa vaccinated?

Yes, she is. However, the child specialist (the 2nd doctor that we visited) pointed out that we forgot to give her the 18 months vaccine. In our defence, we actually did go to the doctor for the vaccine but at that time, it was out of stock and we eventually forgot to follow up with the doctor.

Second question, was it Diphtheria?

No, it was not. She did not have any signs of thick gray membrane covering her throat and tonsils and she also did not have any difficulty in breathing. Do take note that other than for that one vaccination that we forgot, Alexa has received all her vaccinations in full as recommended by the health ministry.
And if it was, Alexa would definitely had been warded (and be part of the statistics). And that was the motivation behind seeing all those doctors. You might think that it is a waste to see a doctor every two days but for us, firstly, for several days, her body temperature had actually risen to 39.4 degrees. And Diphtheria symptoms usually show 2 - 7 days after you've been infected. Although she has been vaccinated, we wanted to confirm that it was not Diphtheria (hence the different doctor visits just to make sure that we had a second, third and fourth opinion) and secondly, we also wanted to be sure that she did not need to be warded.

To this day, when I think about her condition and what she had been through, a thought goes through my mind:

If she wasn't vaccinated, could it have been Diphtheria?

In all honesty, I don't know. But one thing I do know, I don't want her to have it.

So lately there's been a lot of discussion going back and forth between pro-vaccine and anti-vaccine parents. To all parents, I respect your choice, either to vaccinated or not-vaccinate your children. I am sure you have a good reason for it. And your reasons may be justified by valid claims. However, I would like to highlight one thing:

It was so easy for Alexa to get caught with this fever and cough. Admittedly it could be due to the fact that Alexa travels a bit more than other toddlers her age. But then again, don't you think your child interacts with a lot of people throughout the day? Some may justify that their kids are homeschooled and they stay indoors all day long. But is that healthy (staying indoors all day) and the right thing for a child's development? Your child will be in contact with different people and especially for kids who are in daycare/ kindergarten, there's a lot more interaction involved.

I believe that all parents are pro-life. That's why you decided to have children in the first place. But would you be willing to risk that life? You may be able to control the food that they eat, the environment that they are in when they are at home, but you are unable to control all other various factors such as the people that they come in contact with and the environment outside your home.

This reminds me of a beautiful hadith by the Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. which was reported by Anas ibn Malik,

"A man said, "O Messenger of Allah, should I tie my camel and trust in Allah, or should I untie her and trust in Allah?" The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him said, "Tie her and trust in Allah."

If we were to follow that hadith, it could be adapted to the current situation as, vaccinate your children, and put your trust in Allah.


xoxo Mrs Fashionista

The concept of Rizq in Islam

A few weeks ago I attended one of the Al-Maghrib courses (I've forgotten which course unfortunately), and this story have made quite an impression on me, so much that I've never forgotten the story ever since.

Once Saidina Ali a.s. was riding a horse to a place and when it was time for prayer, he stopped at a nearby mosque. He told a man who was standing nearby to look after his horse until he comes back from his prayer. After praying, Saidina Ali a.s. went towards his horse with the intention to pay the man 4 dinars for taking care of the horse but he found that both the man and the saddle of his horse was missing. He rode on his horse in search of the man and arrived at a market place where he found another man selling the same saddle which was stolen from his horse.
Saidina Ali a.s. approached the seller and asked him the price at which he bought the saddle. The seller told him that he had bought the saddle for 4 dinars. Saidina Ali a.s. narrated to his companion that it was his intention to pay the man 4 dinars, and that 4 dinars was the destiny of the man (i.e. his rizq) but he chose to obtain his rizq through haraam means.

What this means is that your provisions (i.e. your rizq) have already been determined by Allah. You will get what Allah have intended for you to receive. However, it is up to you to earn your livelihood, whether the halal or the haraam way.

The concept of rizq in Islam is one of the most interesting concepts that I have ever come across. For one thing, rizq is not confined to only money, but also to good health, having children, a supportive spouse, a supportive family and many others. Rizq is made up of all that Allah has given you and the ability to be productive and beneficial in this world. Even the knowledge that you have is also rizq. One of the best rizq to have is definitely having your parents around, because they are your keys to Jannah. So if they are still alive, make sure to ask them to make loads of dua'a for you and use this opportunity to earn as much barakah as you can.

One of the funny things about rizq is that what you earn i.e. your salary/ wages etc, may not be entirely for you. There's somebody else's rizq in it too. That happens when you give out your money for charity, spend for your family and even when your money gets stolen, the rizq is not for you. It is only yours when you have consumed it, even the food that you eat can fall to the ground before reaching your mouth, indicating that it was not your rizq.

For those who are worried about their rizq, remember that Allah has written the portion that you will receive and indeed, that portion will reach you, just be patient and make loads of dua'a. And you can also practice reciting these two dua'as:

اللَّهُمَّ اكْفِنِي بِحَلَالِكَ عَنْ حَرَامِكَ وَأَغْنِنِي بِفَضْلِكَ عَمَّنْ سِوَاكْ

(Allaahumma-kfinee bihalaalika 'an haraamika wa aghninee bifadhlika 'amman siwaak)

"O Allah, save me from haraam and make the halaal sufficient and by your boon/favour make me independent from others".

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ غَلَبَةِ الدَّيْنِ وَقَهْرِ الرِّجَالِ

(Allaahumma innee a'oodhu bika minal-hammi wal-hazan, wa aa'oozubika minal-'ajzi walkasal, wa aa'oozubika minal-bukhli waljubni, wa aa'oozubika minal ghalabatid-dayni wa kohrir-rijaal)

"O Allah I seek refuge in You from worry and grief, I seek refuge in You from hopelessness and laziness, I seek refuge in You from miserliness and cowardice and I seek refuge in You from overwhelming debt and from the force of men".

Both are dua'as to settle debt which have been taught by the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. and are as narrated in Timidhi and Abu Dawood. 

May Allah relieve us from our debts. Ameen. 

xoxo Mrs Fashionista

I NEED vs I WANT

Today I read a very interesting article online [click here for the article] that asked four different women (with different income brackets) on how they spend their money. Their income ranged between $1,000,000 to one that is on the poverty line. There was a similar article on the spending pattern of four men with incomes ranging similar to the women. What I found to be interesting is their spending pattern.

The millionaire spends very little, so little in fact, if he or she wasn't a millionaire, they would become one simply by how little they spend and how much they save their leftover funds. In fact, the millionaire spends almost as much as the one on the poverty line. The main difference between them is the level of debt, the millionaire has very little debt while the one on the poverty line is struggling to pay his or her debt.

What I find to be interesting is that, in all the men and women interviewed, almost all of them are very aware of how much they spend, how much they save, and how much do they put away for retirement. It is quite humbling to find out that the millionaire only spends about $1,000 ++ in monthly expenses. Although in Malaysia, it would be almost impossible to spend as low as $1,000 per month in monthly expenses due to the difference in prices between Malaysia and the US, but I would have to say, it is doable (if you put your mind to it).

I do try to keep track of how much I am spending in a month. My main issue is commitments, i.e. I have too many bills to pay for, hence, what I need to do is to identify whether I need a certain service or not. As I am currently living in KL, let me give you an example of my expenses here in KL:
1. I do not have a tv (for the reason that I hardly ever watch tv) so I do not have any subscriptions to Astro, Netflix, Iflix or whatever cable tv.
2. I have a broadband connection with Time.com and that is only because my mum requires internet at home (for when she comes to visit, which is quite often). If it was up to me, I could live with just my mobile data and my plan is to terminate this connection once it expires next year (by that time, most probably I would be back in Kuching for good anyway).
3. I paid off my car and so far there's no plans to get a new one.
4. I have one credit card. I used to have two, but I've terminated one of them last year. My current plan is to go for debit card but so far I haven't made that transition. Inshaa Allah next year.
5. I have three mortgages. Two properties are being rented out and is giving me a little bit of income (although not as much as I want them to) and I am staying in one of them. I chose to buy a studio when I moved to KL for the simple reason that it's cheaper to buy (monthly instalments are lower than monthly rent) and I could always sell this apartment once I leave KL (so far there are no plans to sell but we are thinking about setting up an Airbnb business, but that too, is not fixed).
6. I do have a personal loan which I took before I started my PhD. I had to take the loan because I really wanted to further my studies then and I hadn't gotten a scholarship yet. When I got my scholarship, I used the funds remaining from the personal loan to pay as downpayment for my third property. I must admit that taking a personal loan is among my biggest regrets because I think I could have survived without it and yet, now I am paying for it. So, no more personal loans for me in the future, inshaa Allah.
7. Monthly expenses: Petrol (around RM50 or RM70 a week), Food (around RM100 - RM140 per week, it could be more if I go for fancy lunches and dinners), Toiletries and miscellaneous (around RM100 - RM200 per week, it could be more if I sign up for running/ join other activities), utility bills and maintenance fees (RM400 - RM600 per month) and insurance/ takaful for me and Alexa (RM350 per month). I calculated roughly on the minimum side I would have about RM1750 monthly expenses, right?

I don't know whether my current monthly spending is too high or too low, but according to my own calculations, it's quite reasonable. Indeed I do feel that I would prefer to pay lesser bills but so far, I think I have minimised what I can.

So, what gets me into trouble with spending? A few years ago, the main culprit used to be traveling. I used to travel two to three times a year and although by itself, one trip is affordable, but when you have too many trips in a year, my travel budget would be eating into funds which I am supposed to use for other purposes and this contributed to an increase in my credit card debt. I have since reduced my traveling plans while I reorganise my budget and have started to only travel by cash (i.e. pay my flight tickets, accommodation, and any other spending all in cash).
Another big culprit for me is shopping, and perhaps it's the lure of online shopping as I do not go out very often (I currently have very little spare time and I only go to shopping malls if there is a need for something). I have discovered that I have a certain weakness for instagram posts and there are so many beautiful not-to-be-missed items out there. Realising this weakness of mine, I've decided to unfollow some instagram accounts (prevention is definitely better than cure), and go through a mental list in my mind if I want to make a purchase. E.g. let's say I see a pretty dress (I currently love the designs by aere and love-to-dress), I would make a mental note in my head counting the dresses that I have and whether there is a need for a new one. And considering the size of my wardrobe, usually there is no need for a new scarf/ dress/ sandals/ running shoes/ handbags/ running gear etc.
Another spending trap would have to be food because we Malaysians are notorious foodies. However, since I have no time to eat out, so far that is not a problem for me.

So, I'm going to throw out this question to you: 

How's your spending like? 

For me, I know I don't spend a lot really, simply because I do try to rationalise whether what I intend to buy is a need or a want, and usually it's a want. Before I make that intention to purchase, I evaluate:

1. Do I need new shoes?
I have 2 flats, 2 sneakers, 1 jogger, a pair jungle-trekking shoes, 2 sandals and 2 flip-flops, and these are only from the ones I have in KL, not to mention the ones in Kuching.

2. Do I need a new scarf?
I have been eyeing a scarf from dUCk for a while now but haven't made committed to making the purchase simply because I know I have too many scarfs and I have changed my priorities in spending.

3. Do I need ... ?

In my case, it's apparent that in most cases I don't.

So do you have trouble in your finances? 

If you do, my first suggestion is to evaluate your spending pattern. Try to let go of what you do not need. Earlier this year I reduced my phone plan with DiGi and went for a lower bill which suited my needs, and let go of my Maxis broadband for the iPad. Is there a service that you only occasionally use? If you could live without it, then let it go.
For most people, their biggest spending could be bills (then minimise where you can), food (homemade food taste better and are healthier, believe me), travel (we have plenty amazing destinations in Malaysia for us to visit), or even kids (instead of spending money, spend more time with them by bringing them to the library or the park).
If you find that you have too many commitments, although it is recommended to repay the ones with the highest interest, I would recommend (based on my own practice) to repay the smallest amount due. If you have money owing to friends and families, do repay them first because, their dua'a (when you've made payment) could open doors to bigger and better rizq. And then move on to the next one. Identify your weaknesses and address those weaknesses. Have a support partner which would knock some sense into your head and be realistic with yourself.

Always remember that the life of others should not be a benchmark of how you live your life. We see beautiful photos and glamorous lives of celebrities and public figures, and all praise be to Allah for enabling them with more than what they need. But we may not necessarily need to wear what they wear, eat where they eat, drive the car that they drive etc. We attain happiness by being who we are and becoming a better version of ourselves.

If you need to spend, spend more time investing in a better you =).

Have a blessed Ramadhan.


xoxo Mrs Fashionista

Fashionista Travels: Robbed in Ho Chi Minh City

Very recently I saw a friend posting on Facebook a newspaper article on tourists being robbed by taxi drivers in Ho Chi Minh City. 

The newspaper article that my friend had posted on Facebook. Thank you Ismandy for highlighting this article on Facebook today. 

I've always been wanting to blog about my own experience but I've kind held back from blogging about it because I did not want to re-live the experience. You may have noticed that I did not blog about my trip in Ho Chi Minh City either for the same reason. And I was only able to blog about halal food in Ho Chi Minh [click here for the link] about a year after the trip. 

Anyway, it seems that the rogue taxi drivers are getting quite aggressive so I thought it's better for me to share tips on HOW TO SPOT A FAKE TAXI DRIVER IN HO CHI MINH. 

Before that, let me share with you what happened. 

Us on that fateful day. 

It was the second day of our trip. We had just arrived in Ho Chi Minh the day before. We wanted to see the sights and because we had Alexa with us (traveling with a baby is definitely different compared to traveling with just your partner), we decided to join a tour. It was a whole day tour and it included lunch. Unfortunately, the lunch was not halal. We did not join their lunch but we did manage to grab some croissants and hot chocolate at Starbucks. 

The tour ended at around 4 pm. It was still early so we decided to ask the bus driver to drop us off near Ben Thanh market where we knew that halal food would be plentiful. Had some food at Salima Halal Restaurant and then we went off to Ben Thanh market in search of souvenirs. 

By 6 pm we decided to head back to the hotel. Our hotel is not that far from Ben Thanh market (perhaps about 15 minutes walk) but it had started to rain. Because of Alexa (she was sleeping in the baby carrier at the time) we decided to take a cab and immediately grabbed the one which was conveniently parked in front of Ben Thanh market. The car was painted in white and green, similar to other taxis and there was a meter on the dashboard. Hubs decided to sit in front for safety reasons (he felt that we would be more vulnerable if all of us were sitting at the back). 

While the driver was driving, I noticed that the meter was moving pretty fast. That kinda got me slightly worried. And then as I was looking outside, I also realised that the windows were tinted black. Alarm bells started to go off in my head. This doesn't look right, I thought. But he had the meter and there was an ID as well on the dashboard. So I just kept quiet. 

And then he stopped by the main road (a very busy intersection) and said (in broken English), he cannot go any further. The road is packed with cars and he is unable to turn into the small road that leads us back to our hotel. He asked for payment.

Since hubs was sitting next to him, hubs asked me to pay (because I was sitting at the back, and thus at a distance to the driver). Took out money from my wallet and paid the amount on the meter. The driver got angry and said not enough. He then took all the cash that I had in my hand. 

Bear in mind, Alexa was sleeping at the time in the baby carrier. Hence, Alexa is positioned in between me and the driver. I did not know what happened to hubs because he suddenly started asking me to just give my money to the driver. It was weird for me that hubs did not seem to notice him taking my money and instead asked me to just give the driver more money. 

The driver noticed that I had more cash in my wallet. He took a newspaper and put it next to Alexa's neck. Instinctively, I feared for Alexa's life. I did not know whether there's a knife inside the folds of the newspaper and I certainly do not want to find out. However, I did push the newspaper out of the way and lo and behold, I saw his other hand underneath the newspaper and was inside the opening of my wallet. How did he do that, I don't know. But he was very smooth and cunning. I pulled away my wallet, gave him almost all the money in my wallet (you can always replace the money that you've lost but you definitely cannot replace lives) and satisfied with that, he finally allowed for us to leave the car. 

By this time, I was shaking. Hubs, unfortunately, was oblivious. Outside the cab (or fake cab) hubs asked me what had just happened. I said, I was robbed. Hubs was shocked. He thought I was arguing about cab fare (I mean, seriously? Me arguing over cab fare?). We walked slowly to our hotel and told the staff that we had just been robbed. Johny (the receptionist at our hotel) had warned us about being robbed by taxi drivers the day before, but because I was busy tending to Alexa, I only half-listened to him. And funnily enough, we got robbed just the next day. 

Now that I've gotten the story off my chest, here's how you SPOT A FAKE CAB in HO CHI MINH CITY. 

The city is filled with Vinasun cabs. It's the best cab (most reliable and safe). All tourists are encouraged to take only Vinasun cabs. They are very easy to spot, white and green paint, logo on top of the cab. 

Logo by the side of the passenger doors as well and company number. 

The Vinasun logo is very visible and easy to see. The phone numbers on all Vinasun cabs are the same. Vinasun cabs are not tinted at all. 

This is one of the entrances to Ben Thanh market. Behind the black car, you can see white cars parked at the entrance of the market. That was how we got into the fake taxi. We had just exited the market and (fortunately or unfortunately) there was only one cab in the vicinity. As it was raining, we jumped into the car immediately without checking the logo. We only saw shades of white and green and thought that we were in a Vinasun cab. 

And here is a fake cab. Looks similar right? Same white paint and green numbers. But it's not a Vinasun logo. Even the phone number looks almost similar. And if you notice, the windows are tinted black. 

Fake cab. Different logo. Black tinted windows. However, car paint color is almost the same to Vinasun. 

To compare, this is how a Vinasun cab looks like from the side. 

So, I hope this post has been helpful. The reason for me writing this is to ensure that you (my fellow travellers) are safe and able to differentiate between a fake cab and a legitimate cab. Despite the trauma, we went to Ben Thanh market the very next day for the one reason so that we could take photos of these fake cabbies for me could warn others on how to spot them. As Johny (our hotel receptionist) would say, just take Vinasun cabs and nothing else.

Would I go to Ho Chi Minh again? Truth be told, after that incident, I had second thoughts about traveling but now, after having Alexa join me to other countries such as South Korea, Indonesia, China and also on our many trips within Malaysia, I know that it would be very difficult for me to stop traveling. Inshaa Allah, I'll try to take extra caution the next time and make a lot of dua'a for Allah to keep us safe. That being said, if there's an option to rent a car with a driver, I'll go for that option the next time.

Alexa was only 1 year and 3 months old at the time of this trip. All praise be to Allah for keeping us safe. Although we were robbed, we were unharmed. Alhamdulillah.

Do take extra care and enjoy your holiday, peeps!

xoxo Mrs Fashionista

Mommyhood: Three Years Later

Time flies, Masha Allah. Alexa will turn three next week and here I am, amazed that we survived the past three years *phew*. Alexa is still alive and kicking, Alhamdulillah, and she has the makings of a healthy toddler and she also has transitioned well from babyhood to toddlerhood. And no, that doesn't mean that she's a docile, well-behaved toddler, but she's behaving just like a toddler would, loud, opinionated (when she wants to),stubborn, cheeky and I wouldn't want it any other way.

If I have time, one of the things I would do is to bring Alexa to the playground. It's one of the things that I know she looks forward to, she would say, "Alexa mok pegi playgeraon." Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of time (as I am sure most mothers don't have the same luxury as well) but we do what we can, don't we?

Positive signs of toddlerhood (in my opinion) includes: laughing when she's happy, fascination at the weirdest stuff (current fascination includes aeroplanes, escalators *yikes*, and talcum powder), crying out loud when she doesn't get her way (we have a 50-50 rule against this, we let her cry sometimes and we give in sometimes), singing (usually when she's enjoying the moment), stubborn when she wants something and sometimes there's drama (she even knows how to sulk *gosh*). She sometimes wants to pick her own clothes (I've told her, she's not ready for fashion) and even objects to the clothes that we pick for her (when I was smaller, my parents made me wear bright yellow pants with a bright red shirt and never did I object to that). She gets frustrated at me (I mean, seriously?) and I know that because she would have this exaggerated sigh and say, "Mommy tok eh."

I love reading to her and to be honest, I don't read out word by word, usually I just explain the illustrations and on other days, I let her explain them to me =).

Being me, I actually have a mental checklist of things that I want Alexa to learn, and I want to make sure that she has these capabilities before she starts kindergarten. Here are three of them:

Alexa at Benbino's, Publika. Love their set up and I know Alexa enjoyed herself as well. Would have enjoyed the place better if they had bigger portions (most are kid-sized portions so you kinda have to order more food). 

1. Be Happy in Her Own Skin
I think we've achieved that so far. We try (very hard) to give constructive criticism when we can. It's not easy I must say (coming from an Asian family where criticism is a culture), and so far we haven't been really successful with this (I'd say my success rate is perhaps 20 - 30%) but I do try to remind myself to say things in a positive manner instead of a negative manner. But Alhamdulillah so far she is happy and hopefully she'll learn to be confident next.
How do I know that she's happy? Firstly, she's very excited to share what she's up to. We sent her to kindergarten for a few days, she cried for the first couple of days but by the third day she came home all happy, bubbly and all excited. There were lots of singing involved on the drive home. She also has her solo playtime and she likes to play make believe with her lego toys. She gives them her milk bottle (I told her the milk bottle is too big for the lego man) and puts them to sleep (arranging them properly on the bed and putting the blanket over them and petting them to sleep).

Alexa having fun at one of the conferences which we had attended. Alhamdulillah the conference organisers do provide toys for the kids to play with which is absolutely great.

2. To Share What She Has with Others
This is a work in progress but I want her to have the ability to be kind and not be afraid to share. So far this is working only half of the time but Alhamdulillah, at least she's trying.
This is how I do it:
Whenever we go for conferences or events, I would buy/ pack a packet of crayons or color pencils and a drawing block for her. Besides that (if I remember to), I would also buy a set of stickers and a packet of balloons. Kids just love stickers and balloons. Then we would also have one or two books handy (because we hope to foster her interest in reading as well). During conferences, in the mother's room, I would have her color/ play with balloons/ stickers or read her book. Other kids would come (kids are naturally curious) and I would encourage Alexa to share her stuff with them. The first couple of times it was difficult for her to share but after the third time or so, she's more comfortable with sharing. I do notice most parents do bring toys for their kids but they are very afraid of sharing (to the point that they would tell the kids to give back Alexa's crayons/ stickers/ balloons etc).

This is us at Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan's session at Masjid Wilayah. 

Personally I feel that that is not the right approach to sharing. The best way would have been to teach the kids to ask for permission in using other people's stuff (it's the perfect occasion for it) and let them play with each other. And once the playtime is over, also encourage the kids to return whatever items that's not theirs. I feel that the parents are the best example to the kids and if we want our children to be generous and kind, we must show how generosity and kindness is practiced in front of the kids so that they can take heed.

Alexa joining my mum and me for Tafseer of Surah Al-Mulk in Shah Alam. As you can see, she always has crayons and a drawing book with her to keep her occupied during the program. As with other toddlers, she does get bored after a while (she does not do this all day). If she needs to run/ walk/ explore, I let her be and just make sure she's within eyesight.

3. Have the Habit of Asking
Kids, being kids, do not know how to ask for things and usually they will snatch the items that they want from the shelves/ other kids etc. I learnt this from a colleague of mine in UiTM when many years ago, she and her family went for visiting to our home for Eid. We had these KFC Hello Kitty figurines in our house and her kids liked them. Her kids were around 7 to 10 years old at the time. When their father saw them playing with the figurines, he asked the kids, did you ask permission? And wonderfully, the kids did ask permission before playing and they even asked if they could keep the figurines and bring them home. What I like about this is that the kids are open and honest, they liked something and they wanted to play with it. They wanted it enough to take them home. And I did give some of them to them, but not all. No tantrums, with proper thank you's and I loved the whole experience. My colleague was slightly embarrassed but to me, hey, there's no need to be embarrassed. Your kids are amazing!
So what we've done is to try and remind Alexa to properly ask for what she needs/ wants and say thank you after. It's still a work-in-progress but Alhamdulillah, she sometimes do it (and sometimes she doesn't). What matters is that we keep on teaching and reminding her to ask, and say thank you (and we show her how it's done as well).

Running to go to kindergarten. Alhamdulillah she is excited about school.

Kids are amazing, they learn the darnest things (so be careful of what you say and do in front of them) and everything is a work-in-progress. As a parent, it does get frustrating sometimes and it gets overwhelming as well. Don't give up and take baby steps together. As much as we are teaching them the necessities of life, they are also teaching us how to be a better person, inshaa Allah. Celebrate small successes and teach them the importance of trying.

Me, a work-in-progress.


xoxo Mrs Fashionista

Fashionista's Review: Calligraphy Workshop with KLigraphy

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend not one, but three workshops organised by KLigraphy, one on copperplate calligraphy, another on brush calligraphy and the third on chalk lettering. 

Okay, you may be wondering how did this come about (since I am the least creative person that my friends know of) and other than creative writing (which I love) and photography, I am no artist. I found out about the course online, from the instagram accounts of inezcalligraphy and inksandletters.  Saw a bunch of calligraphy videos and fell in love with calligraphy and decided that I, Fareiny, should learn calligraphy.

And here's my (not so) short photoblog of the workshops:

Day One: Copperplate Calligraphy

This is what greeted me when I came on the first day

A practice pad, a transparent folder to hold the worksheets in place, a cursive alphabet guideline, in two separate jars were Chinese ink and walnut ink, two nibs, a pencil, an oblique holder and a straight holder and finally, of course, my name, nicely written on a place card displayed on a cute little easel. 

Light refreshments were provided by mad_treats. The marshmallow cookies were absolutely delicious (I am still thinking about them until today *drool*).

Hi there! My name is... 

Inez and Jill giving briefings during the workshop. 

We started with a briefing on the tools and basic introduction on copperplate calligraphy and how the whole workshop will be conducted. Our first practice was done with pencil (obviously) as a warm up session. There are upstroke and downstroke techniques, the whys and how to get fine lines and thick lines into our letters. 

We also had some hands on demonstrations by Jill.

The main purpose of these demonstrations is to show us how it's done and what effect should we expect from our writing. 

Not to be left out, Inez also provided us with hands-on calligraphy demonstrations.

Me with Jill (inksandletters) and Inez (inezcalligraphy) at the end of Workshop # 1.

Hope I can write like this one day =). 

Day Two: Brush Watercolour Calligraphy 

For brush calligraphy, we were also provided with the necessary practice pad, worksheets, brush pens, a set of watercolours, fine paintbrush, a water brush pen and of course my name written up nicely in watercolour. 

Briefing on brush calligraphy.

Demonstrations by Jill.

Yummy food by mad_treats. Major love for their lemon tarts.

And these are what I came up with =)

For brush calligraphy, I actually find it to be more difficult than copperplate calligraphy simply because the brush is softer, thus it is more pliant to pressure. I wasn't able to achieve consistency on my upstrokes (they seemed almost similar to my downstrokes). However, I find that the colours made the words more interesting and fun. And it gave me some ideas on making colourful monograms for lil' bub's bedroom.

Chalk Lettering:

Jill and Inez had a lucky draw in the afternoon for two people to attend their chalk lettering session, and I won! Being not so lucky in lucky draws, I actually gave a small shriek of surprise *heh*.

We were given a chalkboard, a set of chalks, and an instruction booklet cum workbook along with a long ruler and pencil as part of our workshop kit. I find chalkboard lettering to be more difficult than the other two simply because there are more styles to think of and as I mentioned earlier, creativity is not my forte. But despite that, chalk lettering is way more fun and expressive. I can imagine doing this with Alexa in the future. 

Among the things that I wrote on my chalkboard. 

My final piece (oh okay, this is actually pretty bad and I assure you that my artwork does not in any way reflect Jill and Inez's talent). 

Okay, so what can I say about my weekend spent with pens, papers and brushes with Jill and Inez? Firstly, I would have to honestly say that it was an eye-opening workshop. There's so much technicality involved in writing and although it seems pretty difficult at first, calligraphy is actually doable for creatively-challenged people like me. Honestly, all three workshops were awesome. I enjoyed my time during the workshop and I find both instructors to be extremely helpful and clear in their instructions. If you are interested in calligraphy, do visit their website, KLigraphy [here] or you can follow their instagram accounts: inezcalligraphy and inksandletters.

If you'd like to follow my journey (and I promise I'll share some of my calligraphy practice sets) feel free to follow me on Facebook [here] and Instagram [here].

xoxo Mrs Fashionista